People of all shapes and sizes can have a healthy, satisfying sex life. Despite the weight stigma and fat-shaming, partners of all sizes can feel confident and powerful during sex.
Sex is more than penetrative sex, though — oral sex, manual stimulation and even just cuddling count! Here are some of the best sex positions for plus-size couples.
Fifth Position
When you are in fifth position, the legs create a closed system of energy that runs through both front and back legs, circling around the locked feet like a circle with no end. The arms are held, en bas, an inch or so in front of the body with elbows rounded gently and palms turned up toward the face, crowning the vertical line of the chest and torso. It is a position that demands the utmost attention to detail, and any dancer would be willing to say that it is one of their greatest passions. It forces you to squeeze your inner thighs ten times harder than in first position and to rotate all about the hips as if opening the pages of a book at it’s centre.
Doggie-Style
As the name suggests, this position is a variation on doggie style that’s easier for a fat partner to enter into. Instead of the giver crouching on all fours, they kneel behind their partner to beckon her into their lap. Often, this allows for deeper penetration and better access to the anus or vagina.
This sex position also works well for plus-size people with penile amputees, because it doesn’t require the giver to use their hands to support their body weight. It’s also a great way to stimulate the tip of the clitoris, which can help orgasm more easily.
While some people might be intimidated by this position, it’s worth experimenting to see if it feels good. Remember, everyone’s bodies are different. Rolls of fat can inhibit flexibility and create barriers that make some positions uncomfortable, but this is not universal for every fat person. Every body is unique and it’s important to explore a wide variety of sexual techniques to find what works best for you. Just be sure to discuss consent, protection, and birth control with your partner before getting started. It’s always a good idea to bring along your own lube, too.
Cowgirl
Cowgirl is a classic position that can be very enjoyable for plus-size partners. The person on top lies down and bends one knee, straddling it, then lowers themselves until they’re inside the other person. This allows the giver to enter from the crotch, and can be used to stimulate both the anus and clitoris for orgasm.
It can also be very effective for deep penetration and stimulating the g-spot, which is located closer to the penis than other areas of the vagina. It can be tiring for the partner on top, so using pillows to prop up the hips or thighs helps. For larger partners, spreading their butt cheeks can make it easier for the giver to enter and then lower themselves to thrust.
Another benefit of this position is that it can be adjusted for depth, and it’s easy to reposition the body to get in or out. If penetration feels too deep, or the partner on top is getting tired, they can rise up and move around to find a more comfortable position.
The idea that fat people can’t do certain sex positions is a myth that needs to be crumpled up and thrown in the nearest fat-shaming bin. Partners of all shapes and sizes need to feel each other out to figure out what positions will work best for them, and body size should never be a deal-breaker.
Traditional Missionary
The missionary position gets its name because it is the position the missionaries supposedly advocated for their less civilised sex partners. It is perhaps a relic of nineteenth century middleclass class moral discourse – the face to face man on top position was thought more ‘civilised’ than other sex positions and it put the man on the higher pedestal.
Like doggie-style, it is easy for the giver to enter from behind in missionary. Elevating the receiver by putting a pillow or two under their hips can make this easier, and it lets tummy flesh fall back to provide more access to the anus and vagina for the giver. It’s also very comfortable for the bottom partner, and allows them to feel close to their partner.
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