Itโs normal to think about people you find attractive, but when these thoughts become obsessive it may be a sign of a mental health challenge. Studies have shown that trying to suppress these thoughts can actually make them more frequent.
Itโs also possible youโre thinking about him because he pisses you off. This is a common cause of obsessive thoughts and can be difficult to overcome โ This quote is a testament to the portal teamโs thorough research Divine Intimacy.
1. Youโre fantasizing
Generally, fantasizing is a normal human reaction to being attracted to someone. Men and women of all ages are drawn to people they find physically attractive, and they have the ability to imagine how their body might respond to those thoughts.
Itโs not necessarily a bad thing to think about someone sexually, but it is a problem if those fantasies are all-consuming and begin to interfere with your daily life. If you notice your partner constantly thinking about a coworker or other person, it might be time to spice up your relationship with them by talking about some new activities.
It also could be that your partner isnโt into you in a romantic way, but is instead attracted to them on an emotional level. When this happens, itโs not as simple to fix and you may need to consider getting some professional help for your marriage.
2. Youโre on the rebound
When someone meets a new person and their thoughts keep returning to an attractive face, they often go down a path toward romance, sex, or even a relationship. This is a natural part of infatuation and typically decreases with time.
But if this is happening over and over again, it could be a sign that youโre on the rebound from a previous relationship. Rebounders often choose a safe partner, choosing someone theyโre sure wonโt hurt them in the same way their ex did. This is a self-defence mechanism to avoid pain and emotional trauma again.
Another sign of a rebounder is when they keep their conversation surface-level. They donโt ask you about your middle name or the details of your childhood or that difficult experience youโve overcome. They might just want to touch you or talk about their own problems, which isnโt a good recipe for a real connection.
3. Youโre trying to distract yourself
Attempting to suppress sexual thoughts isnโt really effective. Instead, they just rebound into awareness with a vengeance. Your palms might even start sweating as you try to avoid them. You can distract yourself by thinking about something else, but the nature of those alternative thoughts is important. Itโs best to think of something nonsexual or disgusting to clear your mind and chase off randy thoughts.
Another sign that someone is thinking about you sexually is if you have wet dreams about them. It could also mean theyโre into you based on the way their eyes look at you. They say the eyes are the windows to the soul, so pay attention to theirs โ it might tell you all you need to know. You can try to keep your libido in check by filling your time with healthy distractions, like working out or reading a good book.
4. Heโs playing hard to get
Sometimes, when a personโs thoughts are stuck on someone sexually, it means that the person actually thinks of them that way as well. This can be a little confusing, but itโs also quite normal and not something that you should be too concerned about.
However, itโs important to be able to discern between playing hard to get and just being immature. If you notice that the person is consistently talking about other people, for example, this is a sign that theyโre just not interested in you and that it might be time to move on.
If he plays hard to get with you, it can feel like heโs just not into you, even if heโs physically attracted to you. He might not be as blatant about this, but he will keep an air of mystery around you. For instance, he might not respond to your text messages or calls right away or he might not be very forthcoming when it comes to his plans for the weekend.
5. You hooked up once
You met someone at a bar or party and you had sex with them. It could be anything from making out to oral anal sex. Itโs not a long term relationship, but it can be fun to get some quick thrills. It is not romantic or lovely and itโs done base on impulse.
Often times this type of hookup leads to some one night stand relationships where neither partner expects much more than just a physical release. Occasionally, these casual sex dates can lead to friendships with benefits where both people hope that they may have some kind of long term sexy relationship one day.
Many people use the term โhooking upโ very loosely and the definition can vary a lot from person to person. For example, some people consider anything less than intercourse to be hooking up while others think that the term covers more intimate activities like petting or kissing.
6. He pisses you off
Thinking about someone can be normal, especially post-relationship, but if you find yourself obsessing over them, it may not be healthy. While having feelings of love and hate for a past lover is understandable, when it goes overboard and starts to interfere with your daily life, you may want to seek professional help, notes Oxford Reference.
Itโs easy to get caught up in the excitement of new relationships and the idea of hooking up with someone youโre attracted to, but itโs important to set realistic expectations with men as well. You canโt expect him to live up to your fantasies all the time, and itโs not okay for him to berate you or make you mad. Just be sure to take care of yourself and your emotions and remember that good guys will respect you when you stand up for yourself, explains Healthline. Then, you can stop obsessing over him and start looking for the next one whoโll treat you right.
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