How to Have Sex by Yourself

Learning how to have sex by yourself is a great way to boost your self-pleasure. It also makes you better able to please a partner who may want to explore your body in a variety of ways.

And, regardless of what frumpy naysayers might say, masturbation is totally healthy and natural. It even reduces cortisol levels, which dampen our pleasure drives.

1. Fingering

Using fingers to tease and massage the erogenous zones of your body can be extremely pleasing. Many women find that they orgasm more with fingering than penetrative sex.

The trick to successful fingering is to use slow movements and pay attention to your partner’s body language and other nonverbal cues. Also, lube is a must!

It can be dangerous to touch a person’s vulva or anus without lube because STIs can be transmitted through bodily fluids. This includes gonorrhea and chlamydia. You may want to wear a nitrile glove or finger cot to reduce the risk of infection.

2. Masturbation

Most people don’t learn to masturbate on their own. Some feel shame or guilt about the practice, and some religious traditions discourage it.

To masturbate safely, you should be alone in a private safe space. Walmart restrooms are not a safe place for this, nor is your parent’s living room while they’re watching TV.

Stimulate all over your body and experiment with different sensual points. You can use lubricant or even just your spit for a fun, gratifying experience. Make the clitoris and other sensitive areas a focal point of your exploration.

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3. Masturbation with Toys

Masturbation with toys is a great way to learn what turns you on. It can also help you figure out your boundaries — whether it’s certain sexual fantasies or areas of your body that you don’t want touched.

Stimulating your clitoris or inserting objects into your vagina are common turn-ons for people who masturbate alone. But don’t be afraid to explore other possibilities. Just remember to keep it safe and clean! And always use clean, sex-safe toys. A shower is a good place to do it.

4. Masturbation on All Fours

Sometimes it’s hot to get a little dirty and bend over for some solo play. Try stimulating yourself with a pillow bump while kneeling on all fours — it’s extra naughty!

Masturbating by yourself is a great way to learn what areas of your body turn you on and how to best stimulate them. Plus, it’s an easy and safe way to experience orgasms! Try stroking your labia and vagina slowly at first. Then, increase the intensity. Or try a sex toy to really elicit the climax.

5. Masturbation with Your Hands

Men are often a bit aloof when it comes to touching themselves but they should definitely learn how to finger themselves and their clitoris. The body is full of sensitive areas and masturbating your neck, nipples, or legs can be just as good as masturbating your cock.

Experiment with different positions and sex toys to see what gets you going. Changing which hand you use for masturbation also feels really nice. People have all sorts of reasons why they prefer one hand over the other, from penis shape to ambidexterity.

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6. Masturbation on Your Knees

Even if you’re the type to shy away from touch, learning how to touch yourself is an important part of a masturbation session. The rounded edge of a bedpost, the arm of a chair or sofa, and the center seam of your pants can all provide sensations that lead to climax.

Try crossing your legs and bouncing the top one to stimulate your clitoris, labia minora, and vaginal walls. With the right lube, this position can lead to orgasms. Try adding a vibrator to kick it up a notch.

7. Masturbation on Your Back

Masturbating on your back is a great way to stimulate the areas that turn you on. You can try different licking positions, use toys, and explore all kinds of areas of the body that you wouldn’t be able to touch during partnered sex.

The upside of masturbation on the back is that it can alleviate stress, boost mood, and reduce pain in the epididymis and pelvic area – all while delivering intense orgasms. It can also be a precursor to sexual intimacy with partners. However, overindulging in masturbation can cause lower back pain.

8. Masturbation on Your Anus

Anal masturbation is a highly sensual self-pleasure technique. Your anus has thousands of nerve endings, making it a highly erogenous area.

But don’t go too far: It’s important to keep your hands and toys clean, and to limit anal-to-vaginal traffic to avoid painful infections. You can use your fingers, a toy (like a feather or clean and appropriately shaped food item), water and even your imagination to pleasure yourself here.

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Pleasure has no sexual orientation, so men and women can both enjoy pleasuring this zone. It’s a great way to figure out your preferences, which you can then communicate to your partners.

9. Masturbation on Your Inner Thighs

Whether you’re in your pants or naked, using the center seam of your jeans can help stimulate both the clitoris and vagina. Try straddling the crease and rocking back and forth to see how it feels.

One thing to note with this technique: You may experience some chafing. It’s also not appropriate for certain situations, like a business meeting.

10. Masturbation on Your Anus

Anal masturbation is a great way to stimulate your body and increase sexual arousal. It is important to have proper hygiene and use a lot of lubrication when masturbating your anus.

For both males and females, stroking slowly is essential to getting an orgasm. Be patient and explore different angles until you find what turns you on the most. Always remember to use anal-safe toys and to stop if you feel any pain or discomfort. It’s also a good idea to avoid anal stimulation during times of stress or when you have an infection.

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