While penises get a lot of attention in the world of sexual pleasure, an often overlooked organ can set off full-body orgasms: the prostate.
Known as the male G-spot or P-spot, this walnut-size gland can be massaged by finger or toy with great satisfaction. Start slowly and gradually build up speed and pressure as you learn what works for you.
1. Get Aroused
The prostate is a sensitive gland, and you need to be sexually aroused before you can locate and stimulate it. This can be accomplished with fantasy, masturbation or foreplay. The excitement will cause an erection and increase blood flow to the gland, making it easier to feel.
Once you are erect and feeling frisky, lube up the fingers and get to work. It may take some experimentation to determine how much pressure and movement will provide pleasure. The best way to start is to rub in a circle, focusing on the soft pad of the finger. This can be done with the fingers alone or with a partner. Eventually, it might be time to move on to prostate fingering alone.
For some people, prostate massage can induce orgasms that rival those of a penis. The difference is that a prostate orgasm doesn’t require massive ejaculation. The orgasms can be short and sweet, and they don’t need a refractory period.
Another benefit is that the prostate can be stimulated externally through the perineum, a narrow area that runs between the scrotum and anus. It is also possible to use a special anal dilator. But for many people, the most effective method of getting a prostate orgasm is to perform a fingering technique that involves anal penetration. This can be done in a number of positions, including sitting on the toilet, lying on your back with your legs spread and being propped up on pillows.
2. Apply Lubricant
You’ll need plenty of lube to ensure you don’t experience any rectal damage or discomfort. You can use a natural, body-safe oil such as coconut oil or jojoba oil for massage purposes and to lubricate your index finger as you slowly insert it into the anus. A water-based lube will also do the trick, but it’s important to avoid any fragrances or other chemicals. You’ll also want to perform a light douching (cleaning the anal canal and surrounding area with water) before starting.
You may need to spend some time searching for the prostate gland inside your anal sphincter, which will likely enlarge when you’re aroused. Once you find it, apply lube liberally and start massaging or stimulating the area gently, applying a bit of pressure.
Then, as you get more experienced, you can start doing a few tricks to increase pleasure. For example, you can place the pad of your index finger over the protrusion and press against it in a “come hither” motion, and then slowly pull the finger away while you keep pressing and adding pressure.
Though there’s no peer-reviewed evidence yet, anecdotal reports show that prostate stimulation is a fun addition to masturbation and even sex—and it may provide more pleasure than penile stimulation alone. Whether you choose to use your fingers, an anal sex toy or a prostate probe, practice regularly and see what sensations you discover.
3. Insert Your Finger
Getting a prostate orgasm can feel like nothing short of heaven. But while the prostate has gotten plenty of press as an underrated source of pleasure (similar to the G-spot in women and people who have vulvas), many men may not know how to get there.
The best place to start is by applying lubricant around the anus and gently inserting a finger. Then use the pad of your finger to massage the gland, and keep going for as long as you (or your partner) want. You can also use sex toys designed to bring pressure to the anal area, but it’s important to remember that the anal skin is delicate and doesn’t self-lubricate, so you or your partner will need to apply more lubricant to prevent irritation.
One of the most important things to remember is that everyone’s prostate is different. That’s why it’s important to experiment with anal stimulation by yourself and with your partner to find out what feels good and what doesn’t.
The prostate can be found about two inches inside the rectum in what’s called the anal region. It’s a round gland that looks a bit like a walnut. Most people describe it as feeling a little more fleshy and softer than the surrounding tissue. It can be a little tricky to locate, but once you do it’s worth the effort.
4. Start Masturbating
Whether you’re masturbating solo or with a partner, the prostate can add to the pleasure of a masturbation session. Getting to know it, though, can take some time and requires some experimentation. But remember that this is a space to celebrate any and all sensations—and orgasms—that you find in the process.
If you’re a newbie, it might help to have some guidance from a partner who can show you how to get there. If not, try experimenting with different positions that make it easier to reach and stimulate the area. As with any masturbation, communication is key: It’s helpful to talk through things like how many fingers you want to use and what kinds of pressure feel good.
A good place to start is stroking the area with your finger(s) (or a sex toy). The P-spot responds well to “come-hither” strokes, but don’t be afraid to try other techniques, too. Circling, tapping, and putting pressure all work to bring pleasure. You can also speed up your strokes or even use simulated vibration settings on your sex toys to kick the experience up a notch.
If you’re using a sex toy, it might be a good idea to apply plenty of lubricant first. You can then insert the toy slowly into the anus, angling it in toward the scrotum until you find the protruding gland.
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