Once she’s turned on, lubed up and her clitoris nicely rubbed, tease the entrance to her vagina with one finger. Slowly slide it in and out, licking it as you do.
Try not to make it too deep, or you might be pressing on her urethra (not very hot). Stick it in a little further to stimulate the g-spot and her cervix.
Warm Up
For fingering to be enjoyable, both you and your partner need to be turned on. The more turned on she is, the more sensitive her vulva will be. This makes her more receptive to penetration and more likely to experience an orgasm from it.
One way to get her turned on is to start with foreplay. Kissing, caressing and teasing the entrance of her vagina will warm up her skin and help lubricate it, which can make her more comfortable when you do slip your fingers inside. Start off slow with foreplay and build up to the more aggressive finger play.
After your partner is warmed up and her vulva is ready for penetration, try a variety of techniques to find out what she likes best. For example, some vulva-owners respond better to direct clitoral stimulation while others prefer indirect clitoral or G-spot stimulation. Some also like to have their anus stimulated by the tips of their fingers, so be sure to ask her if they want that added sensation.
Remember that it can take on average of 15 minutes for a vulva-owner to reach orgasm via penetration. So, if your partner is not moaning by the time you’re finished, it may be that she wants more of a slow, sensual approach instead of a quick shove into her inner canal.
Prepare Your Fingers
A finger is much less invasive than a penis, which makes it a great choice for beginners. That said, you should always start small and use plenty of lube before poking around. Dry fingers are unpleasant for everyone, and they can irritate the soft, sensitive tissue of the vulva.
The vulva is made up of many sensitive, responsive areas that are all susceptible to different types of stimulation. Some are more delicate than others, and finding out what works best for your partner can take some experimentation. For instance, many people find that direct clitoral stimulation (stroking or licking the clitoris) is more pleasurable than penetrative fingering.
It’s also important to remember that fingering is not just a sexual act; it’s an integral part of a satisfying romantic experience. To maximize pleasure, it’s important to warm up with foreplay (like making out, dry humping, or massage) before you touch the vulva. Foreplay builds anticipation and makes your partner receptive to more intense fingering later on.
After some foreplay, gently slide a finger in the gap between her labia minora and majora, up to the first knuckle. Then massage the vulva with a deep, slow stroking motion and tease her. If she seems eager, you can add pressure, more fingers, and other techniques. But always ask her for more, and don’t force yourself into the vagina if she doesn’t seem receptive.
Don’t Be Afraid to Make Mistakes
Fingering is an intimate form of foreplay and sex that can bring intense pleasure to both partners. It is important to remember, however, that if you are not careful you can cause serious damage with your hands. This is why it is essential to wash your hands before and after fingering, use plenty of lube, and keep your nails short and clean. You should also wear gloves or a finger cot to prevent any pathogens on your hands from reaching the sensitive anus and vagina of your partner.
It is a good idea to ask your partner what she likes before you start fingering her, as every woman has a different clitoris and vagina. Some prefer deep penetration, while others prefer stimulating the G-spot or nipples instead. Your partner will probably tell you what she feels comfortable with by demonstrating it with her body language and verbal cues.
To get started, lightly tease the entrance of her vagina with a wet finger, but don’t put anything in. If she is ready for this, she will begin bucking up and grinding her body into you, which means that she is begging to be fingered. She may even lick her fingers and stroke them over her clitoris, which is another sign that she wants to be touched down there.
Ask Her
The most important thing to remember about fingering is that it should never be done without the consent of the person you’re touching. Especially if you’re just starting out, go slow and gentle, don’t push in too hard (shoving your finger right in usually puts pressure on what’s called the vestibule which doesn’t feel as good) and keep asking her if she likes it and what feels best. It’s also a great idea to use lube when fingering her to make it more comfortable.
Once you’ve got the hang of fingering, try different techniques to find out what your partner enjoys. For example, some women love a firm “come-hither” action from fingers on the G-spot. (This spongy area is found two to three inches inside the vagina’s front wall.) This is a sexy, intimate sensation that many people don’t think about. Try slipping your fingertips in, gently caressing the G-spot and then stroking over the clitoris.
Another technique to try is to stroke the outside of her vulva and then slide your finger through into the gap between the labia majora and minora. Make sure to get her wet before you start and don’t forget about the lube – it’s much more satisfying when your fingers are slippery! Remember, it can take 15 minutes on average for a vulva to reach orgasm so don’t rush things.
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