There are no strict guidelines about when it’s safe to have sex after giving birth. But most doctors advise against penetration until you have the all-clear from your doctor — whether you had a vaginal or C-section delivery.
It’s normal to have a low libido after pregnancy, due to fatigue, hormone changes and sleep deprivation. But your libido should come back eventually.
Vaginal Dryness
Vaginal dryness is a common problem that can lead to itching, pain or lack of lubrication during sexual intercourse. It occurs when the Bartholin glands in your vulva stop producing enough natural lubrication. It can happen due to several conditions and is usually temporary. You can find relief by applying a vaginal moisturizer. You can also try foreplay with your partner to help you feel aroused and apply a water-based lubricant before sexual penetration.
You can buy lubricants over-the-counter (OTC) that are specifically formulated for this sensitive area. Make sure to use one that is sperm-friendly. Some lubricants contain ingredients that can affect sperm motility and cause problems during sexual intercourse. If you are trying to conceive, use a fertility-friendly lubricant that does not contain glycerine, petroleum jelly, mineral oil or other oils that may damage latex condoms and diaphragms.
If your symptoms are due to low estrogen, you can ask your doctor about hormone therapy. They can prescribe you estrogen pills or a cream to put on your vulva that replaces some of the hormone your body is no longer making.
Vaginal dryness can be a very distressing symptom and can affect your relationship with your partner. You can try to relieve the discomfort by talking about your symptoms with your partner. You can also bring up your concerns during a pelvic exam or well-woman visit.
Stitches
Your body does a lot of stretching in order to give birth. This can lead to tears in the area between your vagina and back passage (called your perineum). If you had a third-degree tear or more severe, a fourth-degree tear, stitches may be needed to close the wounds. It is important to avoid having sex until the stitched area heals completely. You can help to speed up the healing process by placing a clean pad on the perineal area, pouring warm water over it while you wee and gently pressing it when passing a stool. You can also try using a valley cushion to make sitting down more comfortable. Putting ice on the stitches will ease pain as well.
It’s very rare for stiches to break, but if you notice new bleeding or pus-like discharge it may mean that the stitches have broken. Contact your midwife, health visitor or GP to discuss this further. You should be offered a postnatal check at 6 to 8 weeks after birth, which is an ideal opportunity to have your stitches checked.
Low Libido
The hormonal cascade that occurs during and after childbirth affects more than just a woman’s physical health. It also affects her sexual desire and emotional well-being. This is why it’s important to be open and honest with your partner about what you are experiencing – both physically and emotionally. This allows for healthy communication and will help ease any anxieties you may have about resuming sexual activity.
It is normal to have low libido following pregnancy, especially during the first 4-6 weeks. This is because levels of oestrogen and progesterone are low, meaning the vagina produces less natural lubrication. This can lead to pain during intercourse and a reduced feeling of pleasure. This is not necessarily permanent, however, and will usually resolve once the hormone levels have returned to normal.
Many things can contribute to a lack of interest in sex, including:
Stress and anxiety are another common cause of low libido, so try to reduce your daily stresses as much as possible. This may include making time to relax, reducing your work or social commitments, exercising regularly and limiting your intake of cigarettes, illegal drugs or excess alcohol.
It is also important to talk with your gynecologist about how you’re feeling. They can evaluate you and prescribe medications that can increase your libido. They can also refer you to a pelvic floor physical therapist or psychology specialist if needed.
Pain
For some women, sex can cause pain and discomfort. This is particularly true if you had a c-section and your incision hasn’t fully healed. You might find that certain positions are more uncomfortable than others, and you may have some light bleeding from irritated tissue.
It’s important to use lubrication during sex and not push yourself too hard. If you’re experiencing pain or discomfort, talk to your partner and take it slow. You don’t have to wait the recommended six weeks for sex, but you do need to be sure your incision is fully healed and that you’re ready to begin sexual activity.
Some women also experience a low libido after giving birth. This is often caused by a combination of fatigue, lower estrogen levels and the demands of caring for a new baby. It’s normal to feel this way and it won’t last forever.
If you’re unsure about when it’s safe to have sex, talk to your doctor or midwife. They will probably recommend that you avoid sex that involves penetration until after your six-week checkup. However, everyone heals at a different rate, so listen to your body and don’t be afraid to ask for help if you need it. If you’re struggling emotionally, consider talking to your partner or seeking support from family and friends.
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