When you become pregnant, your sex drive may take a hit. Luckily, it usually revs back up in the second trimester.
Having less sexual desire while you’re pregnant is a normal part of pregnancy, but it can still cause some frustration for couples. Open communication can help you and your partner find new ways to be intimate.
Hormones
Women can experience a dramatic shift in their hormones during pregnancy, and this can have a direct impact on their sexual desire. A woman’s libido can be affected by the fluctuating levels of estrogen and progesterone, and it can also be diminished by other pregnancy-related symptoms such as nausea, fatigue, and weight gain.
Many women are surprised to discover that their sex drive decreases during pregnancy. They may think that they’re the only ones experiencing this, and as a result, they can feel guilty about it. But it’s important to remember that low libido while pregnant is normal, and it will usually return once the pregnancy is over.
During the first trimester, the hormone surges can cause a woman to have a higher libido. But this can be offset by the morning sickness, extreme fatigue, and other symptoms that don’t exactly lend themselves to feeling romantic or sexy.
In the second trimester, a woman’s libido can increase again as she starts to feel more energetic and confident about her body. This can be caused by a rise in the hormones estrogen and progesterone, and it is often coupled with an increase in blood flow to the breasts and genitals. However, nausea, fatigue, and the growing uterus can still lower a woman’s libido in the third trimester. Women should not feel guilty if their sex drive declines while pregnant, and it’s a good idea to seek advice from their doctor if they are concerned.
Discomfort
During pregnancy, your hormones are all over the place. They can make you feel happy and optimistic one moment, then turn you into a ball of emotions the next. These hormonal fluctuations can cause a dip in your sexual drive, which can be uncomfortable for both you and your partner.
You may also experience pain or discomfort during sex. This is because the uterus expands and puts pressure on your body organs, including your vulva. Moreover, your pelvic muscles stretch and widen to prepare for labor, which can make certain sex positions uncomfortable. Additionally, you may have more vaginal discharge during pregnancy, which can be embarrassing and uncomfortable.
Your lack of a libido during pregnancy may have other causes, such as fatigue, nausea, or anxiety about welcoming a new life into the world. You might also feel distanced from your partner if you’re not sexually active together, which can lead to a lack of closeness in your relationship.
Your libido will probably return to normal after your first trimester. By then, your nausea and fatigue should have subsided, and you may be able to get back into the bedroom. If you still find sex uncomfortable, try different sex positions or use lubricant. In addition, orgasms during sex release oxytocin, which can help to increase your pain tolerance and comfort level.
Fear of harming your baby
Many women are concerned that sex while pregnant will harm their unborn child. This is usually a fear that stems from a history of miscarriages or hearing stories of friends who suffered from early contractions and lost their babies. However, sex while pregnant is perfectly safe as long as the fetus is healthy and there are no other complications. If you are worried, talk to your OB-GYN. She will be able to reassure you that sexual activity, even orgasms, will not harm your baby or trigger preterm labor.
It is important to remember that changes in libido are normal during pregnancy and usually resolve after giving birth. In the meantime, focus on being a loving mother to your growing baby and try not to be too hard on yourself for not feeling the desire for intimacy.
Some women also believe that a lack of interest in intimacy during pregnancy indicates their child is a boy or girl. However, the only way to know is by blood tests or ultrasounds. The best thing to do is to be open with your partner about your feelings and find other ways to show each other love. For example, you could go to the movies together, cook dinner or get a massage. These activities will not harm your baby, but may make you feel more connected.
Guilt
The sex drive during pregnancy is often affected by the hormones and physical discomfort that many women experience. As a result, some women feel guilty that they don’t want to get it on as much as they once did. But the reality is that sex during pregnancy is not only safe, but it can also help boost oxytocin levels and improve mood.
Many women can feel a resurgence of their libido during the second trimester, as their bodies begin to recover from the first trimester’s nausea and fatigue. However, this is a very individual thing and it’s not uncommon for a woman to find her libido decreasing again in the third trimester as she gets closer to delivery.
Some women may be influenced by romantic ideas of how pregnancy is supposed to be, leading them to feel guilty about not feeling a desire for sex. According to midwife Anthonissa, this is the case for many women who struggle with a low libido during pregnancy.
As long as a woman is not at risk of a preterm birth and her obstetrician approves it, anal sex, vaginal sex, and masturbation are safe to perform during pregnancy. Women should discuss their personal feelings about these activities with their obstetrician. Having an open dialogue with a partner about sexual desires during pregnancy can ease the guilt that many expectant mothers feel.
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