Whether you delivered vaginally or via C-section, it is not recommended that you have intercourse that involves penetration within the first six weeks of giving birth. Your vagina and perineum are probably still healing, and your partner may not be prepared for pain or a different sensation.
To increase comfort, empty your bladder before sex and use a water-soluble lubricant.
Wait for Six Weeks After Delivery
Regardless of whether you had a vaginal birth or a cesarean, your doctor will probably recommend that you wait until six weeks after delivery before having sex. This is to ensure that any stitches are fully healed and that your cervix has returned to its pre-pregnancy state. With a dilated cervix, bacteria can enter the uterus more easily and cause an infection.
Your cervix will also be more sensitive during these early weeks after your baby’s birth. This is a natural part of your body’s healing process, but it could cause you pain during sexual activity. It’s important to talk to your partner about how this might affect your intimacy.
In the meantime, you can still be intimate with your partner in other ways. Kissing, cuddling and oral sex can be just as romantic and fulfilling as sexual intimacy.
Of course, every woman’s recovery from childbirth is different. If you feel ready to have sex, go for it. But remember that it’s best to wait until you’re feeling physically and emotionally ready for it. And always listen to your body – even if your doctor gives you the green light. You should never let your medical professionals dictate your feelings. You’re the one who knows yourself best. If you aren’t sure, consult your OB-GYN for advice but remember that it is your decision to make.
Take It Slow
While you may be eager to resume your sexual relationship, it is important to take it slow. This will help reduce the risk of infection, increased bleeding, or re-opening healing tissue. It’s also better to build a strong emotional bond with your partner before you try to be intimate.
General vaginal soreness and swelling is a normal part of postpartum recovery. But tears can make it even more uncomfortable, especially if you had second- or third-degree vaginal or episiotomy tears. These tears can result in pain during sex and require longer to heal than a small tear.
A small amount of stitch material is sometimes visible soon after childbirth, but it’s usually not a cause for concern. However, some women develop excess scar tissue where the perineal stitches were, which can lead to discomfort and itching. If you experience this, speak to your GP.
Your midwife, health visitor or GP will examine your stitches during your postnatal checks to ensure they’re healing well. If you don’t want her to do this, let her know so that she can reassure you and offer alternatives. You can use a water-based lubricant to ease the discomfort of having sex, but avoid oily lubricants as these can irritate your skin and damage latex condoms or diaphragms. You can also find inflatable cushions that are designed to be used during sex, to make you more comfortable.
Don’t Overdo It
While you may feel ready to resume sexual activity, remember that your OB will have some rules and guidelines for you. If you had a vaginal tear, your doctor may recommend a certain lubricant to help prevent pain or discomfort. It’s important to follow your OB’s advice because they know you best.
In addition to using a safe lubricant, you can also take advantage of vaginal rehydration techniques to speed up the healing process. For instance, putting on a warm wet compress and having a sitz bath two times a day can reduce swollen areas and itching. It’s also helpful to expose your stitches to the air for 10 minutes a few times a day by taking off your underwear and lying on a towel on the bed or sofa.
Lastly, don’t forget to use contraceptives when having sex unless you plan to get pregnant again. A third- or fourth-degree perineal tear can cause problems if you become pregnant again, so it’s essential to use a form of birth control while your body heals.
If you had a vaginal tear or an episiotomy, your OB will likely want to examine the area during your postnatal checks. This can be a little invasive, but it’s necessary to ensure the area is healing properly. However, if you are uncomfortable with the examinations, it’s okay to let your midwife, health visitor or GP know so they can reassure you.
Find Other Ways to Be Intimate
It can be frustrating for new parents to feel unable to connect romantically with their partner, especially when they are feeling physically ready to have sex. However, it is completely normal for couples to be in a different mood and to want to spend time together in other ways. This is particularly true if the mother feels worried about having sex after having a baby.
The cervix is sensitive and needs time to heal after delivery. This is true whether you had a vaginal birth or a C-section. If you had a vaginal delivery, a tear or episiotomy may be present and the area can be sore for a while. In addition, if you are breastfeeding, your hormones can be depleted and decrease your libido.
Even if you are physically able to have sex, it can still be uncomfortable and painful for a few weeks after delivery. This is partly because your cervix is still healing and is sensitive, but also because of a reduction in libido due to pregnancy and breastfeeding.
Taking it slow and easing back into intimacy is the best way to help you feel comfortable when you do decide to have sex again. Until then, spend time with your partner in other ways like holding hands or cuddling. If you do want to be sexual, try positions that are less pressure on tender areas and only use lubricant if you feel comfortable.
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