Delayed ejaculation occurs when it takes longer than usual to reach orgasm after penetration during sex. It can affect one or both sexual partners.
Fortunately, delayed ejaculation is treatable. Men and women can work together to resolve the issue. Here are some ways to help: Talk to your doctor.
Talk to your doctor.
It’s normal for penis-having humans to have trouble ejaculating occasionally, but it should be treated as a health problem when it occurs more than occasionally. It can be very stressful for both partners when it happens, and the underlying cause should be identified and managed.
Your doctor will ask you questions about your medical history and sexual habits. They might also do laboratory tests, including blood work to check for a low testosterone level or a health condition like diabetes that might be making it harder to have an orgasm. They might also do a urinalysis to look for signs of infection or other problems.
There aren’t any drugs that have been specifically approved for treating delayed ejaculation, but a mental health professional who specializes in talk therapy or marriage and family counseling might help you find a way to overcome your sex issues. Sex therapy is a type of psychotherapy that lets you discuss emotional or psychological issues related to your sexual life in a nonjudgmental environment with a trained therapist. The therapist might recommend activities that you and your partner can try during sex to improve intimacy and arousal.
Change your diet.
Men with premature ejaculation often have issues with their penis being too sensitive, and changing the food they eat can help. Some aphrodisiac foods to include in the diet are garlic, bananas, honey and grated ginger. These foods contain aphrodisiac properties that will increase the length of sexual intercourse and reduce the likelihood of PE during sex.
Other ways to prevent PE is to drink a lot of water, take vitamin C supplements and exercise regularly. Doing Kegel exercises will also strengthen the muscles that control ejaculation.
Psychotherapy is another option if the cause of PE is psychological. This could involve talking to a psychologist or sex therapist individually or as part of couples therapy. It may also involve reducing the amount of alcohol and illegal drugs taken. Medications might be prescribed as well. These are designed to treat underlying mental health problems that lead to PE. They also help reduce anxiety and depression. The doctor will assess your situation and discuss the best treatment options for you. The combination of behavioral and medical therapies has shown to be the most effective.
Try a vibrator.
It’s normal for men to take a long time to orgasm during sexual activity with their partner. However, it’s a problem if they are unable to reach climax and/or ejaculate at all (anejaculation). Delayed ejaculation is also called delayed orgasm disorder or male orgasmic disorder.
A vibrator is an inexpensive first-line treatment to help increase orgasms and climax. It can be used with oral or penile lubricants and works by increasing sensations during intercourse.
It can also make sex more exciting, and is easy for couples to use together. Vibrators also come in different shapes and sizes, and some are even designed to look super hot and seductive.
If he’s having trouble coming, try edging—getting close to orgasm, backing off, then building back up again. It’s not only a great way to get him turned on, but it can lead to powerful orgasms and can build trust between you. Also, meditation and mindfulness—a mental practice that helps reduce stress—has been shown to improve sex outcomes in women [21], and might work for him as well.
Try a new lubricant.
Having trouble climaxing isn’t something to be ashamed of, especially if it’s not your fault. But if you do have a problem, it’s important to work on it with your partner, even if they don’t want to talk about it.
The cause of delayed ejaculation isn’t fully understood, but it can be related to sexual performance anxiety (SPA) and some medications, such as antidepressants, high blood pressure drugs or muscle relaxers, as well as some recreational or prescription painkillers. It can also be caused by age, injury or some medical conditions, including spinal cord injury, multiple sclerosis, diabetes and a stroke.
Trying new lubricants, using a vibrator or masturbating in ways that mimic the sensation of penile-oral or penile-vaginal intercourse can help. It’s also a good idea to stop any drugs that might be causing the delay, and start a regimen of Kegel exercises for your pelvic floor muscles to strengthen them. A sex therapist may also help you get to the root of your problem, and your doctor might refer you to a specialist like a urologist or a psychiatrist.
Talk to your partner.
If he’s not coming, it’s important to talk to your partner about it. It’s not always easy, but it’s the best way to work through the problem together. Just remember to approach the topic with love and care. Don’t make it seem like you’re blaming him or that you’re disappointed.
Your doctor might recommend that you and your partner try sex therapy, which is designed to help you overcome sexual problems. It involves practicing sexual stimulation techniques that reduce performance pressure and focus on pleasure. It can also address underlying relationship issues that might be causing your anorgasmia.
Delayed ejaculation can be lifelong or acquired, which means that it’s been a problem throughout your whole life, or only recently started happening. It can be caused by medical problems such as diabetes, spinal cord injury or multiple sclerosis, or it can be the result of certain medications. It might also be due to substance misuse or psychological problems, such as depression or anxiety. Psychotherapy can be useful for treating these problems, too. It can be done on your own or with a partner, depending on what the underlying cause is.
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