If you’re in a relationship where one partner wants sex but not a full-blown romance, it can be tricky. There are many ways to deal with it, but it’s important to be radically honest about your intentions from the outset.
It’s also worth remembering that sometimes what we want ebbs and flows, so what may have been important in the past might not be now.
1. He’s only after sex
If he only wants sex and doesn’t care to get to know you on a deeper level, it’s a clear sign that he isn’t interested in anything long-term. He may also be rushing things in the bedroom without giving you enough foreplay or making you feel special.
Men who are only after sex are usually motivated by pleasure and don’t see the point in having a relationship that isn’t sexual. If he is only after sex, it’s unlikely that he will ever change his mind. This is because he doesn’t have any emotional investment in you. He might even see you as a hook-up.
2. He’s only interested in you
If a guy is only interested in sleeping with you, it’s probably best to end things. Guys who only want sex don’t care about getting to know you as a person and will often ask superficial questions or cut to the chase.
He may also avoid meeting your friends or thwart any attempt to introduce you. This is because he wants to keep casual sex with you private and he doesn’t want your friendships to turn into a relationship. He’ll be happy to meet up late at night but he won’t be as down for brunch or a movie during the day. This is another clear sign that he only wants sex.
3. He’s only interested in the physical
In a purely physical relationship there isn’t much to talk about beyond the obvious. But if he’s making an effort to learn more about your life, asking you about your day, and holding your hand when you’re laying down together this is a huge sign that he cares about you more than just as a sexual partner.
In his eyes, you’re not a person outside of his bedroom and it makes sense that he would be less keen on spending time with you if you only see him as a sexual plaything. If he does this consistently, it’s unlikely that things will ever progress past the bedroom. He will likely find another woman to keep him satisfied on a regular basis. Then you’ll be left without the love and connection that you are so desperately yearning for.
4. He’s only interested in spending time together
If the guy you’re dating hardly ever spends time hanging out with you outside of the bedroom, then it’s likely he doesn’t want to be in a relationship. A good relationship will go through various phases, including hangouts where you get to know each other and discuss your lives, so this is a big red flag.
It’s also a bad sign if you don’t meet his friends or family. Guys who want a real relationship will introduce you to their loved ones and show interest in their social life.
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5. He’s only interested in talking to you
When you’re spending time together and he doesn’t introduce you to his friends or family, it’s likely that he doesn’t see you as a partner. He’s only interested in hanging out with you if it leads to sex.
Sexual conversations can be fun (we have plenty of dirty talk examples), but if they are the only way that you communicate, it’s a sign that he only wants sex. A guy who is in a relationship will work to get to know you on a deeper level and will ask questions that show this.
Also pay attention to how often he cancels plans with you. This is a consistent pattern that indicates he only wants to hook up. If he cancels plans with you regularly, it may be time to move on.
6. He’s only interested in leaving you on read
Being left on read by a guy can be one of the most confusing and even painful experiences. Your mind starts racing with all sorts of ‘what ifs’ and ‘whys’ and it can leave you feeling anxious and stressed.
But it’s important to remember that this read status can mean a lot of different things and doesn’t necessarily have to be a bad thing. It could simply be a case of him being crappy on text and not responding as quickly as others do, or he may have his own reasons for doing so.
If you’re getting left on read frequently, it’s time to take a step back and think about his communication style and your own relationship patterns and expectations. Don’t panic or send him a psychotic double text, as this will only make the situation worse.
7. He’s only interested in having sex
Obviously, passionate sex is hot and fun but intimacy is something different. If you’re not seeing any of that, it’s probably a sign that he only wants to keep things casual.
Every conversation with him starts off sweet and normal and then turns to sex talk. He doesn’t make an effort to get to know you beyond the bedroom and just talks about sexy things.
If he’s only interested in having sex, it’s ok to let him go. However, if you’re still hoping for more, it’s best to ask him about it in a nonsexual setting so that he doesn’t feel pressured. Also, depression is linked to lower libido so it’s possible that’s the issue for him. If that’s the case, then he needs to see a counselor for support.
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